I have loved him for as long as I have memory. No, and I am not talking about my early childhood memories. I have loved him ever since that time that we woke up embraced in the street of a random old city surrounded by dispossessed strangers, who unlike us, just happened to call such nothingness their home. We, on the other hand, were running from someone or something, yet completely convinced that in spite of that rough site in front of us, we were going to make it: together in that close and profound embrace, we would definitely make it.
I had loved him long before that old city, though. We had endeared each other way before we decided to jump into the turquoise blue water. He looked at me with those serene yet provocative eyes and to the astonishment of those who were afraid and watching, we jumped off the cliff. Holding hands we dove into the translucent waters. The water was so pristine that I could see myself falling; falling into the deep tranquility that borders the eternal light when we decidedly let go of fear, will and thought, when we are about to close our eyes forever. Yet, he somehow took my hand and forced me out of my resilient resignation. He brought me back to my senses and showed me the way to swim towards the other light: the one above us. He came back for me so that we could both swim away from our limitations. I held his hand until he let go of me, once again, this time to show me that we each needed to find our way. I swam after him trying to reach him, but I lost his touch.
I kept swimming and remembered that I had been there before, that I knew how to reach the surface light. I started to be aware of my breath, or actually, my lack of breath, so I swam even faster in a desperate strive to survive. It was then when I saw the light and realized that I would meet him in another time, under a different sky.
I took a deep breath once I had my head out of the water and thought I was alone until I saw a small pier. My eyes searched for him hoping to find him once again. Suddenly, when I made it to the small wooden plank on the side of this unknown yet immensely tranquil river, I spotted him. He was floating with the rhythm of the serene freedom of he who knows that has conquered the inner light.
He sees me and approaches the wooden structure casually, almost indifferent to our previous jumping episode and indefatigable efforts to finally breathe.
I look into his eyes and before I can utter anything he smiles and says – let’s have a drink-
You See, I have loved him since the beginning of our time, way before we both jumped into the unknown; and we have kept embracing each other in one way or another since then.
Image, " Delicate resilience" (2015) by Andrea Villa Ruiz
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